The Complexion Obsession: A Skin Tone Can’t Give You Love and Joy

Why are we still so obsessed with complexion? Why is it always a light versus dark thing where light usually seems to overwhelming win especially when it comes to women of color? You would think in 2015, we could just accept the fact that we come in a wide array of colors and each is just as valid and valuable as the next and really it shouldn’t even be that big of a deal. Why must we continue to reduce each other to a mere complexion; something that is usually beyond our control? What type of message are we sending to our young girls? If you’re not light-skinned, you’re less important?

If you do a quick survey of rap songs, what’s the top trait that rappers announce they’re looking for in a woman? Complexion. It’s usually a “light-skinned,” “red-bone,” “yellow-bone” or some variation along those lines. Or you can do a quick survey of athletes and celebrities and see what their wives, girlfriends and baby mamas have in common. What about the brown and the darker-skinned women? Are they just a casualty of this color war we continuously engage in?

Yeah, yeah, everybody has a right to their own preference, but if complexion is the first thing on your checklist when it comes to building a relationship, you may want to re-assess your priorities. A complexion can’t give you love, comfort, support, respect and kindness. A complexion can’t give you a child, a home and a future. A complexion can’t guarantee that there will always be smooth sailing and nothing can go wrong.

The only thing an obsession with complexion can give you is a narrow-minded view of beauty and a dangerous mindset of invalidating a person’s worth based on something as innocuous as skin tone.

Just think about this — you might be missing out on your true soul mate who’s walking right on past you now simply because they happen to be the wrong shade.