#TellUsHowYouReallyFeel .. Are You Always Keeping It Real?

#TellUsHowYouReallyFeel .. Are You Always Keeping It Real?

This is a special edition of #TellUsHowYouReallyFeel . This week we’re serving up “A Cold Cup of Coffee”. Bringing you real life without the sweeteners, a cold and sometimes bitter, but always necessary sip of reality. This time we’re looking at, “keeping it real”.

Are you real? Do you connect easily with others on topics of conversation and stick to your views? Do you have authentic viewpoints, or do you use others viewpoints as facts? Are you happy with yourself? Do you love yourself? If you don’t like something do you vocalize it? Do you judge and insult others constantly? Are you condescending? Are you nice nasty? Do you smile in people’s faces, yet talk about them behind their backs negatively? In the presence of a friend are you truthful? Do you exaggerate a lot? The million dollar question is ARE YOU ALWAYS KEEPING IT REAL?

Keeping it real…such a common, overused, hardly understood, and seldom practiced concept. For most, “keeping it real” is just a phrase used in rap songs, but it is so much more. I often run into people who are so conscious to impress, that confusion is inevitable for them. I find many that are confused with who they are because of defense mechanisms, fear, insecurity, inadequacy, rejection or just plain phony (fake). We are in the world and connected in various ways whether we’d like to be or not. We can’t live in a silo separate from others. To cope and fit in many people exercise phony/fake syndrome which clutters their mind and cause issues that sometimes the beholder of the phony don’t realize they have. Let me ask you a question and be honest without saying names here; Have you ever met someone with the most unusually fake laugh to the point where you’re in your mind thinking, “Really!” or you’re looking around for the camera crew of “You just got Punk’d” or some prank video. I’ve listened to many adults converse in such fake tones laugh at things they know are not funny to them or say really rude judgmental things with a smile on their face. If you listen long enough and they get too comfortable in the conversation the phony start to drift away and the real person appears slowly unless they’re really guarded. It’s totally amazing.

Keeping it real, isn’t about being tough in the streets, it’s about being honest with yourself and those around you. Many of us are afraid to be ourselves, fearful that we may alienate ourselves from the people we care about by saying what we truly feel and think. That’s not limited to our friends, or co-workers, but our siblings, parents, grandparents, even our children. How can we have an honest relationship with anyone, if we can’t be open with who and what we are? And why hide it? We are who we are. Every time I turn on the television I see the same cookie-cutter profile of what men and women should look like and how we should act. Says who?

It just seems to me that everyone is so quick to allow someone else to dictate how they should be, because no one wants the responsibility or the backlash of being themselves. So I feel it’s time to pour an ice cold cup of reality…If you’re loud and goofy, stuck up and distant, brash and abrasive, wild and crazy, whatever, just be who you are. By being yourself you’ll weed out those who judge you or don’t click with who you truly are. You’ll find that everyone left, will be around for quite a while. You’ll develop better relationships and feel better about yourself.

People are unhappy because they’re not themselves, they pretend and then wonder why they don’t have genuine relationships. Relationship can’t be real, if you’re not.